


Departure

by Augustus



Category: Backstreet Boys, Popslash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-27
Updated: 2005-06-27
Packaged: 2018-08-16 08:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8094853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Augustus/pseuds/Augustus
Summary: Backstreet's touring again, and Aaron's left behind.





	

Aaron felt like he'd seen a thousand airports in his time. The exact number was a figure only his mother would know, but it was something high; that much he was sure of. Orlando was his favourite, with its familiar spacious airiness and shelves of theme park souvenirs, but there had been many others, all blurring together at the edges due to the passage of time: Tokyo with its schoolgirls waving pens and leather-bound books; Heathrow, filled with bustling natives trying to look unimpressed; Frankfurt, a clean, uncluttered place, striking in its efficiency. Aaron could remember departure gates lined with plastic benches, carpeted in tessellated patterns or slippery with worn linoleum. He had watched planes rise into the air while seated on his mother's lap and had stood beneath the weight of Nick's arm while waiting for his own flight to be called. Aaron had been to too many airports to remember all of their names, but the hollow pain of goodbye was something that could never be forgotten.

Nick felt it too, although Aaron could see that he was trying valiantly not to show it. Instead, he lightened the conversation with crass and unfunny jokes, and filled any gaps with candy that had initially been intended to kill time during his flight.

"It's only a few weeks," he said when one of Aaron's silences had stretched too long to be ignored.

"It might as well be forever."

Nick grinned and ruffled the spikes of hair at the crown of Aaron's head. "Drama queen."

The other guys were staying their distance, a courtesy for which Aaron was grateful. Brian and Kevin had wives to say goodbye to anyway, and AJ's eyes were only for Nick's Gameboy, while Howie was deep in conversation on his cell. Everything seemed different this time around. Not just his mother's absence, but the dynamic of everything that Aaron had known about the group. They were here for love and for each other now, not for necessity or a lack of a life beyond the fans. Aaron understood it, but could never truly be a part of it, no more than Nick could share in the sheer loneliness of being the one who was left behind.

"Call me?" Aaron cringed at how young he sounded, aware of the petulant note hidden in his own words.

"Every night." Nick's eyes were kind. "I'll tell you all about the concerts and give you a blow-by-blow account of everything else we do. And I'll send you postcards too—those tacky ones you get on Oxford Street with obese women in string bikinis and men with too many muscles and orange skin."

Aaron couldn't help but smile. "And presents?"

"One from every city. Each a little tackier than the last."

"Remember the snow dome I bought you in Germany?"

"The one with the girl who lost her bikini whenever you shook up the snow?"

Aaron smirked. "Mom hated that one."

"So did Paris." Nick laughed. "She thought it looked too much like Nicole."

His smile fading, Aaron reached to take Nick's hand within his own. "You might meet someone new in Europe."

"I doubt it. The English don't get my jokes and I can't understand the French," Nick teased. "And as for the Germans... well, for some reason they all remind me of Lou."

Aaron squeezed his hand a little too hard. "Nicky..."

Glancing across at Aaron, Nick shook his head. "I won't. Promise."

"What if a beautiful fan comes backstage?"

"I'll point her in AJ's direction."

"What if she only likes blonds?"

"I'll tell him to wear a wig." Smiling again, Nick wrapped an arm around Aaron's shoulders. "Seriously, kid, you've got nothing to worry about."

"I wish you wouldn't call me that."

"You'll live."

"Not if you're away too long."

Nick's hand tightened around Aaron's shoulder. "I won't be. C'mon, how many times have I waved you onto planes over the last couple of years?"

"That was different," Aaron protested.

"Because it was you?" Nick's smile was mischievous.

"No!" Aaron elbowed him rather ungently. "Because we weren't..." He lowered his voice to a low whisper. "...You know."

"Do I?" Nick curled a leg between Aaron's, his foot rubbing lightly up Aaron's calf.

Aaron swallowed the breath that threatened to escape in the form of a choking gasp. "Nick!" he hissed, conscious of the other passengers who stood and sat nearby.

"Stop worrying, then." Nick pressed a brief kiss to Aaron's forehead as a tinny voice announced his flight through the loudspeaker above their heads. "I'll be back before you know it and I promise that nothing will have changed. Trust me, okay?"

Aaron met his brother's eyes and nodded. "Okay. But promise me one other thing."

"Anything."

"Show Europe you're still the best."

Nick grinned. "You got it, kid."

Aaron opened his mouth to protest, but closed it again after a moment, shaking his head. "I'll miss you," he said finally, the words strangely difficult to say.

"You too."

Nick looked up as Kevin called his name. The other guys were waiting in a cluster of four, their goodbyes finished and their carry on luggage in their arms, ready to board.

He ruffled Aaron's hair one more time before walking away. "Love you, bro," he called without looking back.

"I love you too," Aaron muttered into the sudden emptiness that engulfed him, then turned so he wouldn't have to witness the moment that Nick disappeared from view.

Aaron had stood in what seemed like thousands of airports, every one of them connecting him to Nick in some sort of indiscernible way. He'd watched Nick vanishing into countless banks of clouds then, later, Nick had been the one fading down below while Aaron met the sky. The pane of triple-thick glass beneath his hands was like so many before it, as Aaron lifted his eyes to watch Nick's ascent. In a few weeks, they'd be here again, and Aaron would insist on wheeling Nick's suitcase while he listened to all that had happened while they were apart. Now, however, Nick's plane was shrinking into the distance, and Aaron felt like a part of him was shrinking too. Thousands of airports, and all of them poisoned by goodbyes. Aaron shoved his hands deep within his pockets and turned to find the waiting car that would take him home.


End file.
